Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Achenblog FAQ

Achenblog FAQ

Copied from Mo's Den of Darkness blog

The Achendictionary - a quick reference guide to the Achenspeak on the Achenblog

AABB - (Always A Boodle Behind) (not to be confused with ABBA) - not keeping up with the boodle. We are a loquacious bunch!

Achenaddict - one who is addicted to the Achenblog.

Achenara, Achenlater, Achenawhile, bachenawhile - farewell to the boodle.

Achenblog - a blog run by Joel Achenbach on washingpost.com.

Achenbloghogging - posting an inordinate number of comments.

Achenbook - a book authored by Joel himself, can be hard to find because they’re out of print.

Achenbro - Joel’s brother, Kevin, who is in a band called Rox Diamond.

Achenembarrassing - an embarrassing comment made in connection with the Achenblog.

Achenhead - headache.

Achenphotographer - the official photographer of the BPH - currently mo.

Achensecret - secrets said at the BPH not to be repeated at the Achenblog.

Achenshy - shy, especially with regard to attending the Porching Hour or boodling.

AHRRP - Achenblog Handle Reharvesting/Reallocation Program, a phenomenon

whereby an individual (possibly the ‘loper) would go back to old Boodles to find apparently abandoned handles that would later be adopted as his/her own. Handles acquired in this manner include “Observer” and “sweetiefur.”

Bcfauxlettres - the fake letters bc advised we send to various members of the


Blorph - 1. Jim Beam; popular with omnibad. 2. The sound made whilst in the vicinity of Jim Beam. 3. a general “feh” statement.

Boddle - boodling gone wrong.

Boodle - (short for Kaboodle) the comments section of the Achenblog.

Boodle Porching Hour (or BPH) - Happy Hour for Boodlers, where imaginary friends become real. Most commonly in D.C., but BPHs have been held in a number of U.S. states and in Canada. (See also IBPH.)

Boodler - a person who posts comments in the Boodle.

Boodle Killer - the last person to boodle before a significant lag time in others boodling is sometimes accused of being a Boodle Killer. Joel likes to think his appearance in the Boodle has a tendency to kill the Boodle. He is wrong.

Boodling - the act of posting a comment on the Achenblog.

Boodling Out Of Order (or BOOO) - When someone posts a comment in response to a

previous comment, but another comment is posted in between the two comments, making the comment look inappropriate or irrelevant.

Boodleville, Boodleborough, Porchville - names of places used by boodlers posting in other venues.

Bunker - Where the boodle hunkers down when the crazies appear through a front-page link (see "Front-page alert"). The bunker apparently houses several rooms, a bathroom, a kitchen, many comfortable chairs and is decorated with doilies, antler-themed decor and artwork featuring jet fighters. No Thomas Kinkade paintings allowed.

Burnt umber - color to be worn on National Umbrage Day; also a Crayola crayon color.

Dawn Patrol - The Boodlers that post comments before normal people have had a cup of coffee.

Dork - nerd; often used to describe frequent boodlers by those that are less than loquacious.

Error in '08 - Planned presidential campaign of Error Flynn, whose premature death at age 47 in 2007 proved that imaginary friends are very real.

*Faxing ....[X] to [Y]* - The method of transferring items from boodler to boodler, across time and space. Use of asterisks denotes action.

FBBI - Federal Bureau of Boodle Investigations, established in response to the Interloper

Problem. Currently Achenfan is the official investigator as well as the Queen of the Boodle.

Feats of Strength - Under the Seinfeld orthodoxy, Festivus is not over until the

head of the household is wrestled to the floor and pinned. This typically follows “the airing of grievances.”

Feh - an exclamation similar to “darn”, generally follows an scc statement.

Festivus - a “Seinfeld” term; an alternative to Christmas that includes “the airing

of grievances” and a “Festivus pole”; Boodlers received Festivus gifts from bc at the 3rd Official Boodle Porching Hour on December 6, 2005.

Front-page alert - Notice that it's time to head into the bunker.

FSM - Flying Spaghetti Monster or the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster;

an alternative explanation for how the world came into being, in the context of evolution vs. intelligent design discussions. According to the official site “The Flying Spaghetti Monster: An invisible and undetectable being made of spaghetti and meatballs, the Flying Spaghetti Monster claims to be the true creator of the universe and life on Earth; all evidence of evolution or other origins of life, his followers, the Pastafarians, say, are tricks to throw off the unbeliever. The FSM’s hobbies include flying through the universe, touching things with his noodly appendage and pissing off proponents of intelligent design creation theories. He could be defeated by common sense or acceptance of basic scientific principles, if only either of those things existed.”

Glaucoma Test Pilot: One who partakes of a particularly magical herb by smoking it or making it a secret ingredient in yummy brownies (bet ya can't eat just one). GTPs are easily amused and are often found in dark basements observing how lint glows on their concert t-shirts under a black light to the accompaniment of Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon". They are also known to congregate at Phish concerts.

GTP Motto: "Dude... I am sooooooo high. Like where's my car?"

Hal the Schemer - creator of the Achenblog and sometimes technical advisor - always trying to find a way to take over the blog.

Handle - Name by which a poster is known on the Achenblog.

Higgs Ocean - a metaphorical twist on the theoretical Higgs Field, which permeates the universe and gives mass to particles. The Ocean is treated as the fabric of the universe, where everything - matter, mass, energy, thought, etc. - propagates waves of one sort or another in the Ocean.

IBPH - International Boodle Porching Hour -- a BPH attended by boodlers from multiple countries. Most notably, the big inaugural IBPH held in D.C. whenever it was with lots and lots of boodlers from all over.

Interloper (’loper) - Person who posts under other people’s handles, changes a handle to insult a boodler and/or makes rude comments.

It's dead, Jim - Comment made after the boodle has been quiet for a long period of time. Based on the words uttered often by Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy on Star Trek.

Kit - Joel’s blog entries.

Kit and Kaboodle - the whole Blog — both Joel’s contribution and the comments.

Kaboodle - the comments section of the blog (shortened to boodle).

LindaLoo’s Family Tree - simply put, Linda Loomis is related to everyone. Period.

Manfood- Food to which masculine men restrict their diets. Must be artery clogging and

have walked on at least two legs. One exception to this rule is quiche. Quiche is not manfood. Salad may only be considered manfood if it contains red meat.

Mianus - The center of the Boodleverse

National Speak Like a Pirate Day - September 19 (ARGH!)

National Umbrage Day - a day on which many Boodlers took umbrage at various

comments of other Boodlers (this year is was October 31, yes, Halloween) possibly because of a strong ‘loper presence that day.

New Kit! - Alert that there is a new blog post. It is considered bad Boodle etiquette to post on the new Boodle before alerting the others that it exists.

Observer, Observerism - (the O must always be capital) a concept based on quantum mechanics and special relativity that all sentient beings in the universe have equally valid perceptions of reality. Individual perceptions do not have to agree; in fact, most of the time, they don’t. Observerism does not rule out the possibility of an Ultimate Objective Observer. If anyone Observes It, please post to the ‘boodle immediately and notify your local Homeland Security Office.

Onanism - ummm… let’s just say self-gratification.

Ouroboros, Ouroborosian - An Observation that the the Web/’net/blogosphere is like the classical Ouroboros symbols of a serpent eating it’s own tail. Cyclical, self-referential, self-propagating and self-consuming. Any references to Alchemy or Egyptian, Greek, Norse, Christian, Far Eastern, Native American, or Satanist cultures, myths or gnosticisms is purely intentional.

Permalink - a devious otherwordly Hal the Schemer invention. Purpose is not yet known, though it is thought that the purpose may be to take over the world. The appearance of permalinks may indicate the end of times is approaching, as they appeared December 15, 2005 and the blog broke December 16, 2005 thus leaving many an achenaddict fiending.

Porching - sitting on a porch, OR, attending the Porching Hour, i.e., drinking.

Raj - Alternative name for the Boodle, proposed by Joel when the term “Boodle” was

starting to sound a bit old; short for Garage, the idea being that the Kit would be called the Garret; lends itself well to the term “Raj Rage.” um… notsomuch - didn’t really catch on.

SAO 15 - (now defunct) Select Audience Of 15, the number of participants Joel

initially envisioned his blog would attract. According to Joel, “Ideally the blog will have only about 15 readers, but very intellectual, refined, sensitive readers between the ages of 18 and 35 and with large amounts of disposable income.”

SCC - Self-Castigation Club, a means by which Boodlers correct their own typos

and grammatical errors, but no-one else’s, except Joel’s.

Snarky - 1. a characteristic of squirrels; one of the Boodlers is in fact called Snarky

Squirrel 2. v. being snippy or crabby; “Don’t be snarky with me!”

Tai Shan - THE Panda cub at the National Zoo and possible boodle mascot - that’s still

up in the air.

Tempel 1 - A comet attacked by NASA and the Bush Administration last July 4th in Operation Deep Impact. Some ‘boodlers are considering setting up a summer homes and a good bar (to be called the Hellbar) there with the pending settlement from a lawsuit against the US Government for their unwarranted bombing. The remaining funds will be handed over to the evolving Ashton Kutcher/Britney Spears-based Sea Monkeys who were put there by unscrupulous genetic scientists from an unnamed Far Eastern country. These creatures are not currently known to be al Quaida members or Insurgents.

THE Porch - Joel’s porch, also known as the Achenporch.

THE Tom - Tom Shroder, editor of the Magazine.

Tom the Butcher - Weingarten’s name for Tom Shroder.

Tom the Surgeon - Tom Shroder’s preferred nickname.

Umbrage - Offense, issue; umbrage is usually taken in a lighthearted way on the Achenblog.

Widdershins - technically it means counterclockwise; the wrong way; however in certain circumstances it can be used to refer to a direction which is against the light, i.e. where you are unable to see your shadow ie. “I am up to my widdershins in xyz” - it doesn’t really matter what it means - it just sounds good.

Worlds Colliding- The occasional visit of a Significant Other to the Achenblog for mild harassment purposes. Also known as breaching the boodle.